My husband is a jackass! Every week he goes out with at least $20-$80, sometimes more than once a week. Every stinking week and I never get to go out. Well now I'm going to South Carolina for 5 days and he's having a fit because tonight would be the only night he can go out and I only have $17 and he's throwing a fit. By the way I'll only have $50 - $70 for the whole 5 days that I'm gone. All he ever cares about is money and going out. I'm not even in his top 5 anymore. Our 10th anniversary is next week so I've been thinking about that...it's a long time to just give up. So all day I was trying to be nice to him but as soon as he realized that tonight was his last opportunity, he was a prick the rest of the day. He just left grumbling that it's bull shit that he only gets $17 and that I'm leaving. Well he goes out all the time and it's not fair that I'm always stuck home. I want a life too.

I'm just so sad because this marriage is not going to last. All that time...I think about our wedding day...how happy we were...and now we can't even have a conversation. It's just so sad.

Plus we fight because he doesn't want my older 2 kids to stay here while I'm gone but they don't want to go to their bio dad's plus I don't think he would take them for that long anyways. They've never spent more than one night with him and not more than probably 20 nights total their whole lives.

Maybe I should go see my pastor. I really need some advice.

Oh, I almost forgot. I went to the dentist again today. I thought he was just going to fill where he did the root canal, but nope. He redid the root canal. Plus he cut my cheek. I was not impressed at all. So now I'm in pain and I'm disappointed because I thought I was done with this problem. Ugh!